10 Day Writing Challenge: Day One

A dear friend did this 10 day writing challenge and I have decided to do it as well. Here it goes.

Day One:

Ten things you want to say to 10 different people:

1. I adore you in more ways then I ever thought possible. Your laughter and kindness creeps into the hurt and heals the aches in the deep recesses of my heart.   I find in you possibilites I have only imagined and at the same time I so have been longing for. However, I have been scared enough to still keep you at a distance in fear that you are a mirage. You entered my life at a time of immense emotion and change. In the midst of it you have been steadfast in character and love. A love that inspires me. With desires that intimidate and excite me in ways I have never felt. You have seen me at my worse and offered genuine love. Everypart of me has wanted to say "Yes! Yes! Yes!"  more times then I can count. When the fear no longer holds me back, will you be able to take the intensity of the love, joy, and desires I intend to offer? I have only shared a small part of my world with you, are you ready for much, much more? Because I think I want to have it all with you.

2. I still love you and always will. The painful tinge of the reality that we could never be will always linger but I know we will both heal. I wish you were ready for what I offered you. I also wish I was smart enough to see you weren't before it hurt us both so much. I forgive you.

3. I miss you often. Even though I know leaving was the right choice. We both have grown and still have been able to stay friends. I know the sting of the dream broken was immense for you. And will always make us being friends even harder. I am sorry for that. Because you are a wonderful man and I miss having you in my life in a more substantial way.

4. You will always by my joy. I support whoever you are and choose to be unconditionally. Be free.

5. You are such a lil man now. I wish for you all the wonders that this world can offer. Embrace it. Be whoever you can be.

6. You have loved me through so much. I know I am still angry at you and I am sorry for how that plays out in our relationship. But I do thoroughly appreciate and love you at the same time. I know you have done more then most and I am glad you are in my life again. It is not perhaps the way both of us would have liked. But I am grateful.

7. My friend I am sorry for my selfishness and arrogance. Life dealt you a raw hand that I deserved much more then you. Our lives intertwined in such a bizarre twist. You were my friend and I yours. We both did regrettably things.  I forgive you. I hope you will someday forgive me too.

8. I wasn't her .. the one you wanted. You always said I was something important and special though. I wish your words and actions said the same thing. When will you embrace truth and face me. I am here and I will never go away, because I am the reality. Thank you for at least admitting in your own way your faults. It is at least a start. I will be here waiting.

9. You have been a true friend; I should tell you more often.. I am sorry I couldn't live with the way things were.  I love and miss you.

10. If I could turn back time I would have never done it. I was a child, as were you. I am sorry for my part. I wish I can make your life less affected by it. I wish you could look at me without remembering.